Bullying: How to spot the signs and support your child
It’s every parent’s worst fear, your child comes home from school in tears and tells you they are being bullied. Research shows one out of five students report being bullied.
Bullying casts a dark shadow over the lives of countless children, leaving its mark on their emotional well-being and school success. As a caring parent, mastering the art of skillfully tackling this challenge and standing by your child during such tough times is absolutely vital.
Jason Tuell, a licensed clinical social worker at UNC Health, highlights several early indicators of a child falling victim to bullying, provides insights into a child's perspective and offers guidance for adults looking to offer assistance.
Recognizing the signs
According to Tuell, it's essential to be proactive in identifying signs that your child may be a victim of bullying, even if they don't explicitly disclose it. Look for sudden changes in their behavior, such as a decline in interest in activities they previously enjoyed, unexplained physical ailments, refusal to attend school, withdrawal from social relationships and increased aggression or irritability.
Types of bullying
Tuell highlights three primary types of bullying: physical, verbal and social. While physical bullying involves physical harm or aggression, verbal and social bullying are more common and insidious. Verbal bullying includes name-calling, insults and spreading rumors, while social bullying entails exclusion, manipulation or cyberbullying. Tuell emphasizes that cyberbullying, facilitated through online platforms, can be particularly challenging to identify.
Approaching your child
When discussing bullying with your child, Tuell advises emphasizing that it is not their fault and that changing their behavior alone will not resolve the issue. It's crucial to make children understand that the responsibility lies with the bully and the permissive environment that enables the bullying. Additionally, parents should be attentive to messages their child may be internalizing about their self-worth or how others perceive them.
Communicating with your child
Tuell suggests ongoing, adaptive conversations as the most effective way to support children who are experiencing bullying. He recommends following the ABC acronym: adaptive, back-and-forth, and child-driven. Parents should ensure the conversation aligns with their child's interests and developmental stage, engaging in a back-and-forth dialogue rather than delivering a lecture. By allowing the child to lead the conversation, parents can gain a deeper understanding of their child's experience and empathize with their emotions before offering problem-solving strategies.
Involvement of schools
Regarding the role schools should play in preventing bullying, Tuell emphasizes the importance of school involvement. Given that schools are a significant hub of social interaction for children, they must take an active stance against bullying. Tuell suggests that schools establish comprehensive anti-bullying policies and provide education and awareness programs for students and staff. Open lines of communication between parents, teachers and school administrators are crucial to ensure prompt intervention and support when incidents occur.
Finding out that your child is being bullied can be a distressing experience as a parent. However, armed with expert advice from Jason Tuell, you can approach the situation in a way that supports your child's emotional well-being and advocates for their safety. Remember, open communication and collaboration between parents and schools are vital in addressing bullying effectively. By implementing these strategies and seeking the appropriate support, you can empower your child to navigate this challenging experience and emerge stronger.
