Renee Chou: Taking the first kid-free vacation - and loving it

Our family achieved a “first” this summer. My husband and I finally took our first vacation together WITHOUT our daughter!

Elsa is now five years old. So, for the last five years, she has never spent a whole night away from BOTH of us. Mike and I have had date nights; we’ve each traveled separately for work or to visit friends for a long weekend. But, ever since she was born, every vacation we’ve taken was always a vacation with the three of us.

Five years without a couple’s vacation is a long time. I have friends with kids who take at least one couples-only vacay every year … and maybe even a long weekend or two sans kiddos.

It’s not that easy for us. We don’t have family here locally. Both sets of grandparents are a plane ride away. We only see them a few times a year. When they do visit, we want to spend time with them as well and would feel guilty taking off somewhere.

Our parents have watched Elsa while we go enjoy a dinner and a movie. But we would always come home so Elsa would see us first thing in the morning. Her first two years especially -- we didn’t feel comfortable leaving her overnight with anyone but us.

Elsa’s always been a pretty good traveler. We’ve taken her on planes ever since she was a baby. We’ve never felt like we needed to “get away” from parenting. But as she’s grown and become more independent, we started thinking that it would be nice to reconnect as a couple by exploring a new place together without having to make sure everything is kid-friendly.

So how to make that happen? We would need to enlist the grandparents. Mike suggested that the three of us could fly to Montana where his parents live. Elsa could stay with them, and then the two of us could drive to Alberta, Canada, to experience Banff National Park. He had gone there 15 years ago. I had never been there but heard so much about the beauty of the Canadian Rockies. After seeing pictures online of Banff, I was sold. We decided late June would be a good time to go.

We told Elsa weeks before about our trip and the plan for Mommy and Daddy to be away for three nights. We really built up the fun things she would do with Grammy and Grandpa; her cousin and aunt were coming to visit as well. Elsa was very excited for the trip!

She started packing her suitcase a week prior. She also asked me for a picture of the three of us to take with her to Montana. When I asked her why, she said if she missed us while we’re gone, she could take out the picture and look at it to feel better. Of course I found a family picture for her to pack!

We flew out to Montana. After staying with Mike’s parents for two nights and getting Elsa acclimated -- Mike and I drove 5.5 hours to Alberta, Canada for our first, kid-free vacay.

And wouldn’t you know it? Kid-free and we talked about our little girl ... a LOT! We wondered how she was doing and what she was doing. We laughed as we recalled the humorous things she often says to us and the adorable habits she has. We also would ask each other, “Remember when Elsa….?” We’re just amazed at how quickly she’s growing up.

But we also realized how refreshing it was to NOT be interrupted with a “Mommy! Daddy!” every 30 seconds. We were free to go on long hikes with breathtaking views of snow-capped mountains, turquoise lakes and lush canyons … and no one was saying, “I’m tired -- I don’t want to walk anymore!”

Banff is a very scenic, walkable town -- combined with the nature hikes, we walked 8 to 10 miles a day. We ate at a fancy restaurant for dinner. We took a gondola up to the top of a mountain 7500 feet above sea level to soak up the majestic Canadian Rockies. Not once did we have to worry about a curious child getting too close to the edge. And my hand was free to hold the hand of my husband instead of my little girl’s -- a reminder that I should do that a lot more often.

After three nights away from Elsa, it was time to drive back to Montana. We couldn’t wait to see her!

We wanted to know how she enjoyed her vacation with her grandparents. She loved it! She even said, “Mommy, I didn’t even have to take out our family picture and look at it because I was having such a good time. I missed you and Daddy, but I was never too sad.” And that made me happy to hear.

Mike’s parents had a great time as well and have offered to stay with Elsa again if we wanted to jet off somewhere. We’re not sure when we’ll take our next kid-free vacation. But we know we won’t wait another five years.

It’s not selfish or indulgent to take one. It’s essential to a marriage. While life is amazing with the three of us, it began with the two of us. Making the time to reconnect as husband and wife is an investment in our love, our marriage and ultimately how we parent. And that is one of the greatest gifts we could ever give to our daughter.

Renee Chou, WRAL-TV morning anchor, is the mother of one. You can find her monthly on Go Ask Mom and all of the time on her Facebook page.