New mom: The best thing I ever read as a parent

I want to share the best thing I've ever read as a parent.

These wise words come from Grey's Anatomy creator and executive producer (and mother of three!) Shonda Rhimes in her New York Times bestselling book "Year of Yes."

The entire book is inspiring and I highly recommend it, but one particular chapter changed my entire mindset when I felt overwhelmed juggling diapers, picky eating and tantrums, self care, time with my husband, parents and friends, succeeding at work, keeping my house clean ... etc.

I am serious -- if you are a parent who is feeling overwhelmed, go to your nearest library or bookstore, find this book and flip to page 92, the chapter called "Yes to Surrendering the Mommy War."

The chapter is about how Shonda Rhimes, a successful professional and mom, openly admits -- she couldn't do it without her nanny.

She's not suggesting everyone needs a nanny, she's stating that no matter how on top of it a parent looks, no one can do it all and everyone is struggling. You know when you see that mom at the park who looks perfectly fit in a cute workout outfit with a baby strapped to her chest while her well-behaving toddler plays gently with other kids? Meanwhile, I am chasing my toddler at full speed across the parking lot, wearing mismatched socks and an oversized T-shirt with a hole in it?

Even though that other mom looks like she has it all together, that doesn't mean she feels in control.

Everyone wants to look their best to others. It's why we share the most flattering photos of ourselves on social media and put on display what we are doing well -- like our career, the wall we finally painted or the successful baby play group we formed. We don't post photos of the messy kitchen or tell people we haven't spoken to our friends in months.

Shonda Rhimes writes about "successful, powerful working mothers who keep silent about how they take care of their homes and their families ..." She goes on to suggest women (all parents really) are unintentionally harming other parents by not admitting things like "I have an amazing nanny" or "I spent an hour curling my hair instead of playing with my kid just so it would look this good" or "I presented this amazing project at work but I didn't see my child at all last night."

Shonda writes, "I don't think powerful, famous women hide the fact that they have nannies or some kind of help at home because they are being unkind to other people. I mean, those women aren't at home laughing and laughing at home everyone in America is trying to do it all and can't because the secret is that NO ONE CAN DO IT ALL!"

Shonda writes that powerful, successful women don't admit they have help to be unkind, but because they are ashamed.

Then she writes probably the best part:

"Leave no mom behind, soldiers. And even with help, I'm still in the trenches. Nobody has this thing figured out. Except doesn't it feel like everyone else has figured it out? I don't know about you, but it's the idea that I'm not measuring up that gets me."

Bingo. She hit then nail on the head. I literally cried with relief when I read this. Thank you, thank you, thank you Shonda Rhimes. It was exactly what a stressed out working mom needed to read. Shonda wants us to know if one part of our life is going amazingly, the other parts probably aren't. We all need help, and we all have to take shortcuts more often then we care to admit.

So remember that next time your screaming toddler is pulling out your hair while you strap her into her car seat.

You've got this. Or maybe you don't. But it's OK, because no one does.