My family has a 'no kids allowed' travel policy

When we were younger, my husband and I traveled a lot – without kids. Mexico, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, tropical islands…we journeyed well. Our passports resembled a well-read book, tattered and dirty, but interesting and filled with great stories.

Then we had kids.

We knew – because older and wiser people told this truth – that parenthood would shift our ability to travel as frequently and as lavishly. But, we prioritized making them liars.

With trusted family close by, we made it our mission to get away as frequently as we could – and it wasn’t entirely selfish. In 18 years when our children leave the nest, we still want to know and like each other, so why not retain what made us “us” before they came along?

And so we travel. Without the kids. Often.

Without setting any firm expectations, we traveled about once a quarter together when the kids were younger, often traveling to closer locations like Asheville or the North Carolina coast so we weren’t too far. We throttled back during COVID, and we’ve ramped it back up more recently. It’s precious time together, but it’s also gut-wrenching for me to leave our kids.

Without fail, mom guilt and anxiety stage a proper attack prior to each trip. Someone usually gets sick right before we leave. Childcare plans usually fall through at some point. And I usually get some sort of sad phone call while we’re gone. But, the kids survive. We have fun. And we’re all better for it in the end.

If you’re considering a trip with your better half, here are a few areas I try to pay attention to before packing my bags:

Make a Plan

…but don’t freak out when it falls through…because it will.

Get Kids Healthy

…but don’t expect them to stay that way…because they won’t.

Trust the Caregivers

…but don’t pretend they’ll do things the same way you do…because they can’t.

Feel the Feelings

…but don’t cancel the trip the night before…because you may want to.

Acknowledge the Guilt

…but don’t allow it to rule your brain…because it will try.

As I write this, my husband and I are on a plane to Denver, Colo. (I’m tagging along on his work trip!), and I want you to know that we take our kids many places too – just not everywhere. I know not everyone has the ability, childcare or interest to travel, but if you want to do it…do it!! And if travel isn’t your thing, do something that is. Make time for your significant other in a different way – it’s so worth it.

Stephanie Llorente is a mother of two children and a regular WRAL Family contributor. She is the owner of Prep Communications and Restored, a faith-based business that delivers relevant resources and intentional community to working moms