Ken Smith: With 3 kids under 2 means lots of doting, devotion and diapers

When my wife, Amanda, first told me, we were having twins, I literally had no words. The rest of the day, I kept looking at her, in disbelief and saying, “I have no words.”

I wouldn’t say that it was expected, but it didn’t surprise either of us that we were having multiples. Twins run in Amanda’s family. She has twin siblings and cousins. Triplets run in my family. My brother has triplet girls.

Eventually, we found out we were having twin girls. I was overjoyed! Don’t get me wrong, I love my sons. My first-born, Jamard, and my little boy with Amanda, Frankie, bring so much joy to our lives.

Over the years, though, I’ve always admired the father-daughter relationship, especially observing the relationship my father has with my sisters. I’ve always wanted that experience. Now, I get to be a girl dad and a father to three children under the age of two.

I must admit, it’s one thing to prepare for multiples, but it’s another thing to be ready for multiple babies.

When we were in the preparation phase, it felt like a honeymoon. We were gaga about accumulating clothes, diapers, strollers and other “must haves” for the twins. We beamed every time we told people we were having twins to go with our baby boy. Then, Nov. 30 came and it was the moment of truth! Like many dads, the delivery of the twins was very emotional and beautiful for me. My wife was amazing! When I got to hold Leah and Louisa for the first time, it was a moment I will never forget. They are named for my great grandmother and great-great grandmother. Their middle names, Marie and Marion respectively, honor my mom and Amanda’s mom.

As you might imagine, our lives completely changed when we brought the twins home. Fortunately, we had a wonderful night nurse who helped us out for eight weeks. Also, my WRAL paternity leave provided a great opportunity to spend quality time with my expanding family. Even then, and especially now, the level of exhaustion is hard to put into words. This is true, particularly for Amanda, who is committed to providing our girls with breast milk.

Amanda and I sleep when we can, but there’s always someone or some thing that requires our time and attention. I’ve talked to other parents of multiples, and we all agree, the best way to describe this experience is that “it’s constant.” There’s always a diaper to change; a bottle to be made; a feeding; someone to comfort (including Frankie); laundry; house cleaning (which is way down on the priority meter)! The tasks sometimes can feel endless, but I constantly remind myself, to be in the moment; to be present with our children.

So often, we as parents are always looking ahead to the next phase of our children’s lives, especially when we’re exhausted or at our wits' end. Six months or a year from now, I don’t want to look back on this time with our three little ones and it’s all a blur!

When I had this same conversation with a friend of mine recently, he shared the following quote with me from a Don Welch poem: “In time, the least inhabited place is the now.” I am, because of our three beautiful children. They are my “NOW.”