Kathy Hanrahan: Grieving the loss of a pet

Over the summer my 16 year old dog, Faith, passed away. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had to endure. She was like a child to me. I raised her from 9 weeks old. She survived cancer and other health issues. She was my constant shadow, always following me around the house.

It was so painful.

Since January I've lost 40 pounds, been working out regularly, especially on my Peloton bike. Faith used to sit by me while I worked out. It was tough when she passed and I found that I started to avoid riding my bike.

I didn't even realize it at the time, I was avoiding it because she used to be there and now she wasn't. I didn't want to look over and not see her.

I had gone a few weeks without riding and then had to have my gallbladder removed after a visit to the ER one night. That set me back from riding even further. It also gave me a chance to sit back and actually think about why I was shying away from my bike.

I had thrown myself into work so hard that I didn't give myself time to grieve.

Right now, we are currently redoing the home office. I had this great idea to repaint and move stuff around. I only now realize that the changes are in part because Faith used to sit at my feet at my desk. She used to be there all the time, keeping me company. Moving things around and changing things has been my way of trying to deal with my grief.

The loss of a pet is never easy, but grief is a process.

My son has coped by talking about Faith being able to eat whatever she wants now. He said to me the other day that it has been 12 weeks since she died. He said that it wasn't something to be sad about because we had made it that many weeks so we were going to continue to get through it. How did I raise such a wise 9 year old?

Anyway, the office redo is almost done and I got back on my Peloton a few days ago. I'm still grieving in my own way, but I think I'm acknowledging it a little more than before.