If I could turn back time: 4 things I wish I knew about parenting before I became one

If I had a magic wand and could turn back time, I would change a lot of things, especially in my parenting journey. Many lessons came the hard way, through trial and error and moments of unexpected chaos - lots of it. Nowadays, new parents often turn to TikTok or Facebook for advice, but for me, it was the good old-fashioned method of winging it that taught me the how-to's of parenting. Old school, right? Here are some of my favorite lessons that I wish I had learned sooner:

Every child is a little mystery

I have two daughters, and they are incredibly different. One is a sweet, introspective old soul, and the other is an energetic, extroverted ball of fire – both with a side of sass. I guess they get that from me! If kids came with a manual, theirs would be worlds apart. This meant I had to completely change my approach to parenting for each. I constantly had to adapt my strategies and embrace their individuality. It was a hard lesson, but realizing how different they are was truly eye-opening. I wish I had known sooner that what worked for my first child wouldn't necessarily work for the other. So, if you're thinking of having more than one kid, toss out the old rulebook.

Honing the art of truly listening

After a long day, there are times when I see my daughter's lips moving, but I couldn’t tell you what they were saying if you paid me. Maybe I should have had that 3 p.m. coffee after all. Inevitably, I'd be faced with the dreaded question: “Did you hear what I said?” While my head would nod “yes,” my expression gave it away. “Okay, you caught me. I didn’t hear a word.” Getting that disappointed look one too many times made me realize the importance of actually listening before they decide not to talk to me anymore.

Committing to truly listen, even when you're running on empty, is huge. It's in these moments, as they share their world, that truly matter. Listening is more than hearing words; it's engaging with their stories, validating their feelings, and showing them their thoughts matter. So, the next time you're tempted to just nod along, remember to grab that coffee and lend them your ear.

Finding joy in the chaos

If parenting were a movie, it would be a wild mix of comedy, action, adventure, and a touch of drama. Some days could even qualify as a horror film. Anyone who's ever experienced a surprise vomit attack knows exactly what I mean. While some stages of parenting are joyful, others are, well, less so. For me, the terrible twos weren’t too bad, but the teenage years? Let's just say they put a whole new spin on the number 13. Regardless of whether your kids are 6 months or 26 years old, each age presents its own set of never-ending challenges.

At the end of the day, when navigating the chaos of parenting, you have a few choices: get mad, cry, or embrace it all. Having tried all three, I can firsthand say that embracing the beautiful mess of motherhood is the most rewarding.

The bittersweet race against time

In all of parenting, what really caught me off guard was how quickly everything passed by. One minute, you're baby-proofing the house, and the next, you're wondering what your kids will be like when they have their own families. It's a whirlwind.

I wish I had realized sooner the importance of cherishing every second. Life gets so hectic with the daily routines —making meals, doing laundry, rushing to practice, and getting everyone to bed on time — that it's easy to overlook the little moments that are the big moments in disguise. Those everyday interactions, simple as they may seem, are what you'll cherish the most.

In summary

I hope my parenting lessons can help you remember to cherish every moment, truly listen, and find joy in the mess. Here's to navigating the wild ride of raising kids, where every challenge teaches us something new and every day holds something to treasure.