Durham's renaissance woman: Mayor Elaine O'Neal's unconventional path to leadership
In the cozy ambiance of her office, Durham Mayor Elaine O'Neal greets me with a chuckle and a simple request, "Can you hand me my cellphone?" Little did I know that this seemingly ordinary moment would be a glimpse into the extraordinary life of a woman whose impact reverberates through the corridors of power and community service in Durham, North Carolina.
Unexpected nomination and a symphony of phones
O'Neal's calm and welcoming demeanor sets the stage for our conversation. With a laugh, she asks for her cellphone, initiating a minor comedy of errors as I hand over the wrong one not once, but twice. Her admission that she owns four phones might seem unusual to the average person, but for someone as immersed in the bustling world of Durham's Mayorship, this level of connectivity is par for the course.
Her office, adorned with the symbols of a public servant — awards, accolades and photographs capturing moments of community engagement — speaks volumes about her commitment to the city she serves. "I know it sounds crazy, but I actually have four," she remarks, highlighting the intricate dance of multitasking woven into her everyday life.
A trailblazing journey through roles
O'Neal's nomination for WRAL Voters' Choice Woman of the Year is, by her own admission, unexpected, surprising, exciting and humbling. Yet, for those acquainted with her remarkable career trajectory, it is merely a recognition of a lifetime dedicated to public service.
From an attorney navigating the intricacies of the legal system to an academic administrator fostering growth, a judge rendering justice and now the mayor of Durham, O'Neal's journey is a testament to her versatility. Notably, she stands as the first female African-American mayor of Durham — a milestone that resonates with the city's rich history.
Championing women's causes
Championing the causes of women has been a steadfast theme throughout O'Neal's career, particularly during her tenure in the courts. Tasked with navigating abuse, neglect and dependency cases, she found herself deeply involved in issues faced by women, including single mothers seeking child support. The courtroom became a stage for her advocacy, setting the tone for her future endeavors.
As mayor, O'Neal remains committed to being a positive role model for women. Her emphasis on the importance of finding a good mentor underscores her belief that mentorship transcends titles and positions. "I’m not my titles; I’m not my degrees. I’m a woman trying to live a good life and serving in that space," she reflects, encapsulating her approach to leadership.
Authenticity and listening: Cornerstones of leadership
To aspiring leaders, especially women, O'Neal offers valuable advice rooted in authenticity and listening. "You can’t lead if you are not willing to follow," she asserts, highlighting the importance of being genuine and cultivating strong listening skills. According to O'Neal, looking into people's eyes is crucial because, as she eloquently puts it, "Eyes are the windows of your soul."
Acknowledging that her journey wasn't paved with ease, O'Neal shares a significant challenge — time management. Learning to say "no" and recognizing the power of that word emerged as pivotal lessons. She advocates for women to avoid overcommitting and underscores the importance of making time for oneself, emphasizing that "No is a complete sentence. If you’re doing everything, you are good at nothing."
Roots and resonance: A Durham native's love for music
Born in Durham in 1962, O'Neal's roots run deep in the West End community. Her childhood at the Pauli Murray Family Home, with four siblings and parents actively engaged in the community, laid the foundation for her future endeavors. A fondness for music, evidenced by her tambourine-playing days at church, offers a glimpse into the multifaceted personality of a woman whose heart beats in harmony with Durham.
Educated in Durham Public Schools and a graduate of Hillside High School, O'Neal's academic journey continued at North Carolina Central University. Her sorority membership and a Bachelor of Science in mathematics in 1984 paved the way for her Juris Doctor degree from the North Carolina Central University School of Law.
Durham's allure and favorites in the Bull City
O'Neal's love for Durham is palpable as she enthusiastically declares, "All of it." Her favorite coffee shop, 321 Coffee, stands out not just for its beverages but for its commitment to employing individuals with intellectual disabilities — a testament to her appreciation for inclusivity. When it comes to dining, she recommends local gems like Bullock's Bar-B-Cue, Hog Heaven, Chicken Hut and The Dog House for hotdogs, highlighting her support for local businesses.
As we approach 2024, O'Neal's heartfelt wish for Durham revolves around a reduction in violence. She recognizes the limitations of governmental and law enforcement solutions, emphasizing the community's role in addressing the underlying issues. Her love for Durham, with its imperfections and vocal citizenry, echoes in her parting words, "There's no place I'd rather be than Durham. I like all things Durham, warts and all."
A legacy of leadership and love
O'Neal's nomination for WRAL Voters' Choice Woman of the Year serves as a testament to a life well-lived in service to others. From her early days in the legal arena to the apex of Durham's political landscape, O'Neal's journey reflects resilience, authenticity and an unyielding dedication to championing women and community causes. As her term as mayor draws to a close, Durham remains not just a city on a map but the beating heart of a woman whose legacy is etched in the collective narrative of a city she loves — Durham.
