Youth sports: Is it time to rev up or reconsider?

These days, kids are busier than ever. There is so much pressure to build a lengthy resume and participate in all the things to excel and make it into college. That pressure can start early in the world of sports.

My oldest was invited to join the next level of her gymnastic training and compete on a team. It requires two three-hour practices a week. She is just about to turn 8 years old. My husband and I, along with our daughter, have had many discussions about what that commitment will look like for us and for her. We have questioned if it will be best for her physical development. Will she be able to manage her school work? Will she miss out on other experiences?

It's a conversation many families I know are also having.

I spoke with Chasta Hamilton, Founder/ CEO of Stage Door Dance Productions, Founder/ President of the non-profit Girls Geared For Greatness, and author of Trash The Trophies: How to Win Without Losing Your Soul. She has been making waves for several years through her dance studio by not participating in competitions. (There's a whole conversation behind that and you and listen to move in the video of our chat.) She and I talked about knowing when it may be right for your child to rev up with their extracurricular activities or reconsider.

Tara Lynn: Your kid has been asked to join a competitive team or group that will require several hours of training and practice each week. What are some of the physical/mental considerations parents should think about before moving forward?

Chasta: This checklist is directly adapted from my book Trash the Trophies. I've tweaked it to be a little more all-encompassing than exclusively focusing on competitive dance. If you go through these questions as a family, there can be transparent focus and clarity as you consider your options for extracurricular activities.

1. What's the cost?

• Consider cost as a variety of metrics: time, money, mental and emotional well-being, monopolization of interests, priorities, etc.
• Once the cost is determined, consider the return on the investment.
• Is it balanced?

2. Are you revving up for the right season?

• Is it a trend, an expectation (societal or familial) or is it intrinsically motivated?
• It is critical that the desire to rev up is rooted in the right place. Intrinsic motivation is where the power to progress really exists.

3. In a series of opportunities, how does this opportunity differentiate?

4. Is there a metric for personal progress?

5. Will this be meaningful to personal growth in one year, five years, or ten years?

Tara Lynn: What are some advantages or disadvantages to team sports versus individual sports?

Chasta: When focused in a healthy way, team and individual activities, sports, and skills are complementary.

The individual activity allows a person to spend intensive time developing strengths, identifying weaknesses, and cultivating leadership opportunities and potential. This allows that person to bring their best to the team effort, which includes goal setting and achievement, project management, and finding your voice and place in a collective.

When we were involved in competitive dance, there was a trend that started where dancers were prioritizing their solos over the group numbers. That's not healthy. We should work on improving ourselves to our fullest so that we can maximize our potential to contribute in group settings, as well. We shouldn't want to improve ourselves to supersede or disregard the team.

Both individual and team activities encourage the activation of executive functioning skills such as time management, follow-through, and discipline.

Tara Lynn: What signs should you look out for to know if your child may be getting overwhelmed, burned out, or having negative impacts from intense training?

Chasta: Here are some of the signs I've observed over the years:

• Disinterest
• Pause or Regression in Progress
• A shift in Approach Towards the Activity

Sometimes, this happens from over-training, but it can also be a symptom of other experiences including general mental wellness, feeling overwhelmed, fear of disappointing others, bullying, and fatigue.

When a shift happens, it is important to speak to the instructor, coach, or extracurricular leader so that you can get to the root of the issue. The collaborative trifecta of family, athlete, and professional representative is paramount to extracurricular success.

Tara Lynn: How can parents best support their children if they decide it's time to rev up or reconsider their activity?

Chasta:

• Be educated. Know the industry/institution/ athletics your child is entering.
• Ask your child to create a pros and cons list. It's elementary in concept but powerful in purpose. What might revving up look like? What might reconsidering look like?
• Let your child guide the conversation and pitch the pros and cons. Be prepared to ask meaningful and thoughtful questions based on your knowledge.
• Stay healthily involved. Be supportive of your child's journey.
• Pulse check. Do check-ins.

In the current climate, it is so important that our youth have healthy, nurturing havens to cultivate and develop their skills. As we continue to acclimate to this phase of the pandemic, progress may not happen as quickly as it once did, or there may be more days where the participant is not at 100%. We are in a time where patience, listening, and kindness is a necessity from all involved. This will help us not only get back to more familiar times but help us rise beyond where we were.

Chasta says that she has had many dance studios from across the country reach out after reading her book. She's even heard from pro athletes. Dive deeper into the conversation via our video chat or check out her book.​

Tara Lynn is a former WRAL reporter and anchor. She lends her 15-plus years in journalism to tell visual stories through love-filled photography for families of all kinds. The mother of three little humans and one senior rescue dog believes in celebrating magic in the little things, the big loves, and the imperfect moments that make the most remarkable memories. Her vision is to help families celebrate and share their love through photography and curated album artwork that become timeless keepsakes connecting multiple generations...because moments often pass in the blink of an eye, and the photographs we take connect us to our memories and our great loves, forever.

You can find Tara Lynn on Instagram at @TaraLynn_andCo and TaraLynnAndCo.com. Learn more about her photography at TaraLynnAndCoPhoto.com.