Tara Lynn: The best gift my mother ever gave me
Most mothers second-guess themselves. Am I setting boundaries in the right way for our kids? Am I too lenient? Too strict? Am I teaching my children the importance of being kind? Do they know how much I love them? Am I actually a good mother?
I’m sure at some point my mom must have had these thoughts, but she appeared to always parent me with confidence (and a heavy dose of leaning on the Lord). She set high standards for me that also came with encouragement and grace.
I am so proud of the person she and my dad helped me become. I was a good kid in high school. I made straight-As, and was involved in sports, orchestra, Girls Scouts and our church. My parents and I had an open relationship based on mutual respect and trust. I knew the rules and was always certain that I’d be caught if I did break them. My friends were always welcome at our home and that’s still the case. It’s a life and relationship I want to have with my own kids.
I’ve asked my parents often how they decided to parent me and what that was like when I was growing up. My mom always has the same answer: she allowed other people to love me.
I can easily name those people who poured into me over the years. My friends' parents (The Hoskins, The Harris Family), my long-time Girl Scout troop leader Lynn Foxwell, my Sunday School teachers (Mrs. Bowling, Mrs. Harris, Mrs. Williams), and my teachers and mentors (Mr. Hicks, Mrs. Buckley, Mrs. Lawson).
These adults always provided a safe place for me. They modeled what it was like to find joy in life, the importance of giving to others, and loving God.
My mom very easily could have kept me to herself. She could have been jealous of my developing close relationships with other adults. She could have not trusted them to guide me along the right path. She could have worried I would turn to those mentors first rather than to her.
My mother set aside any insecurities of her own to make sure I would thrive. That is why it is such a beautiful gift.
Early on she found these “parenting partners” to bring alongside us. Later, I would add in my own. It was a beautiful network of support that allowed me to live with confidence, knowing somebody always had my back. Somebody would always be there with life experiences to share. Somebody would always love me when I made mistakes and felt unworthy.
Over the years, I’ve been able to see how much parents impact their children directly and indirectly. A child desperately needs and wants their parents' love. Ultimately, we must learn to love ourselves independently of their love. My mother gave me the precious gift of knowing both.
Tara Lynn is a former WRAL reporter and anchor. She lends her 15-plus years in journalism to tell visual stories through love-filled photography for families of all kinds. The mother of three little humans and one senior rescue dog believes in celebrating magic in the little things, the big loves, and the imperfect moments that make the most remarkable memories. Her vision is to help families celebrate and share their love through photography and curated album artwork that become timeless keepsakes connecting multiple generations...because moments often pass in the blink of an eye, and the photographs we take connect us to our memories and our great loves, forever.
You can find Tara Lynn on Instagram at @TaraLynn_andCo and TaraLynnAndCo.com. Learn more about her photography at TaraLynnAndCoPhoto.com.
