​Grove of Remembrance: Visitors hang ribbons with messages for lost loved ones at Oakwood

Historic Oakwood Cemetery has long been a sacred space for remembering our lost loved ones. On Sunday from 3 to 5 p.m., those who have lost loved ones to COVID can write their name on a ribbon and hang it in the cemetery's Grove of Remembrance.

The Grove of Remembrance, a natural grove of flowering crepe myrtles, where visitors can hang ribbons with messages for those who have passed, was inspired by the isolation, loss and changes over the past year.

During the pandemic, many weren't able to host a traditional funeral to due size restrictions.

Others weren't able to say goodbye during a loved one's final moments when hospitals couldn't allow guests.

Still others lost loved ones before the pandemic, but weren't able to fully grieve while being trapped at home during lockdowns.

Having a year stuck at home, isolated from fellowship, kept many people trapped with their grief.

"Not being able to say goodbye, or not being able to be in the hospital with their loved ones during illnesses -- we've all kind of learned a little more about life and death, I think," said Robin Simonton, director of Historic Oakwood Cemetery.

She points out that during the pandemic, we all had more time to be at home and think about who we're missing.

Anyone can visit the Grove of Remembrance and hang a ribbon on the tree branches – not just people who have loved ones buried in Oakwood.

The community project launched Monday, but already ribbons can be seen fluttering amongst the flowers on the crepe myrtles. Some of those ribbons are from locals; others have been requested from families who live out-of-state.

Some ribbons have names.

Others have memories – like one that shares they won't forget meeting their loved one at Cookout in the 1980s.

Others have messages, meant to flutter in the wind and reach those we've lost.

"Miss you!" says one ribbon.

"We are still thinking of you," says another.

"Forever and always my Grandmommy."

The hope is that the grove will create a natural space where people can get outside in the sunlight, grieving their losses while also reaffirming life and connecting with the community once again.

Even the cemetery's director has a ribbon hanging out there – for her grandmother.

"My aunt saw the post on Facebook, and asked if we could honor Grandma, because she died in December and we couldn't have the funeral until April," she said.

That grove has long been used to foster community and togetherness in Raleigh. In its early days, it was the place where visitors parked their horse and buggies. In modern times, people gather there for quiet contemplation or morning yoga.

As in those early days, Historic Oakwood Cemetery remains a place for remembering those we've lost – but also affirming life and healing.

Want to hang a ribbon in the Grove of Remembrance?

Anyone and everyone is welcome to hang a ribbon with a message for their departed loved one. Ribbons can be picked up in the cemetery office.

The office is open Monday through Thursdays 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Friday 8 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Historic Oakwood Cemetery is hosting the COVID Day of Remembrance on Sunday, Sept. 12 from 3 to 5 p.m.