Ask Laura: How do I talk to my child about unfollowing accounts they shouldn't follow?

Editor's note: In this monthly series, social media expert and Durham mom Laura Tierney, founder of The Social Institute, answers your questions about social media and kids. If you have a question for Laura, email her at contact@thesocialinst.com.

QUESTION

I saw my child was following some accounts I don’t think they should be. How can I talk with them about unfollowing these accounts?

ANSWER

Great question. We often focus so much on what students’ post, but it’s equally important to focus on what they consume.

Whether it’s chasing a state championship during fall sports season, building a great Fantasy Football team, or requesting references for a college application, it’s important that we surround ourselves with the best people -- even on social media. Why? Because who we surround ourselves with can fuel who we are and who we want to become. Our team at The Social Institute calls this “Building A Strong Team."

Think about everyone you follow on social media as your “team." Do you have high standards for who who joins your team? For who you follow? For who you accept friend requests from?

When I was 16, I wanted to join the U.S. Women’s National Field Hockey Team, and so I made sure the current national players filled my feed. Seeing those players everyday reminded me about my personal goals and standards.

When NBA star Jason Tatum was a teenager, he surrounded himself with content that pushed him towards his goal of becoming a great basketball player. He watched Kobe Bryant videos on YouTube in order to analyze the Los Angeles Laker’s footwork and learn from the best.

Here are three quick tips to upgrade your team on social media and surround yourself with people who help you get to where you want to go:

Surround yourself with positive role models who support you and encourage you.

Can you name five positive role models you see in your feed every day? How exactly do they encourage you to play to your core? Consider turning on notifications for your most inspiring role model or mentor.

Stay away from anonymous platforms and sites that easily connect you with strangers.

Platforms like Ask.fm, Grindr, and Sugar Daddy might be tempting to join, but any place where people aren’t associated with their actions isn’t worth your time. Log off from anonymous apps and log onto apps where you are proud to share your posts. And keep in mind that accepting friend requests from people you never met before comes with risk; my teammate EJ learned that first hand when she was catfished.

Unfollow and block anyone who makes you doubt yourself.

What are five accounts you follow that bring you down or make you question your worth? Unfollow those and get them off your team. Can you think of anyone who has made you uncomfortable by asking for inappropriate or rude content? They don’t deserve a spot in your Contacts.

The people we want to be around in the real world should be the same people we are following and friending online. Follow people whose character you appreciate and who play to their core by posting their true self online. Then, go the extra mile, and make sure what you post and share represents your character and has a positive impact on those who follow you.

Whether you are chasing a state title, a Fantasy Football championship, or a college acceptance - evaluate the team around you. And our team at The Social Institute wishes you the best of luck!

Laura Tierney is founder and president of The Social Institute, a Durham-based company that teaches students nationwide positive ways to handle one of the biggest drivers of their social development: social media.