Amanda Lamb: No quid pro quo

As our children get older, I believe it becomes more enjoyable to spend time with them.

Let’s face it, when they are growing up, love between a parent and a child is largely transactional -- we feed them, house them, clothe them, and more, and, so, they love us. But as they get older, the relationship becomes less about what we can do for them in return for their love and more about a bond based on mutual respect and love that flows both ways.

Don’t get me wrong -- my daughters still need and want things from me-clothing, plane tickets, meals when we are together -- but our relationships are morphing into more of a two-way street, and less about me giving and them taking.

To this day, my father would never let me pay for a meal. He still presses a little cash into my daughters’ hands every time he sees them. He has always been a generous parent and grandparent. But now, when I see him, I am genuinely interested in us spending time together, and I am starting to feel that way with my daughters too.

I don’t think we ever stop wanting to “do” for our children. I suspect that will be a lifelong commitment. But wanting to be with them, and them wanting to be with us, is a magical turn of events that reminds me of what a privilege it is to be their mother.