Amanda Lamb: Empty nesting (again)
It’s official, we are empty nesters again. We moved my older daughter to New York in July to begin her job, and we recently moved my youngest daughter back to college for her second year at the end of August.
This stage in life comes with a mix of emotions – relief, sadness, relief, sadness – you get the idea. On one hand, life in our modest condo now returns to normal. No more dishes in the sink, protein powder on the counter or cabinet drawers left ajar. No more chasing the dog after she grabs a sock or a pair of underwear from my daughter’s floor or unfolded laundry in a basket. No more worrying about preparing meals that garner complaints from my summer tenants or late-night calls from the lobby door because someone forgot her key fob to get into the building.
But the truth is that I thought I would be over the sadness of them leaving by now. After all, this isn’t the first time, yet it seems more final than before. My older daughter is truly starting her own life – a job that won’t allow her to come home as often or stay for as long. My younger daughter is eyeing summer school and internships that might not bring her home again for a summer.
So, this turn at empty nesting comes with a new set of emotions about where I fit into my adult children’s lives. How often can I visit them? Do they want me to visit them? Will they always live so far away? It is a bend in the road that is at once terrifying and exhilarating. It is loss and freedom all bundled up together. On the one hand, I miss them terribly, and probably always will. On the other hand, it gives me an opportunity to decide what my next chapter is going to be. In the words of the great poet Mary Oliver, “Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
I don’t know the answer yet, but I will keep you posted!
Amanda is a mom of two and an author of several books including some on motherhood. She is also a WRAL reporter and successful podcaster. She began writing Go Ask Mom columns in January 2010 and took a short break in late 2021. Now, you can find her posts monthly on Go Ask Mom.
