Amanda Lamb: Dads change diapers too

So, I had an unusual experience this week, something that’s never happened to me before, and it made me think more about the fact that even in 2020, we aren’t allowing fathers the same access to parenting tools that mothers have. We say we expect them to be 50/50 partners, but we need to give them the tools to allow this to happen.

I was getting ready to go into the women’s room in a very busy building when a man came up to me panicked, pushing a little girl in a stroller. He said he needed to change her diaper and pointed to the women’s room. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea for him to go into the busy women’s room here, that he should just go ahead and do it in the men’s room. He then told me there was no changing table in the men’s room. He said that she was very uncomfortable, and he needed to do it as soon as possible. He pleaded for my help with his eyes.

I looked into his frantic eyes and decided I was going to do the right thing. So, I quickly checked the women’s room to make sure no one was inside. It was empty. I promised him I would guard the door. He thanked me profusely and told me he would be quick.

When another woman approached to go into the restroom, I realize that I was going to have to explain the story quickly before she pushed the door open and found a man inside. As soon as I told her the situation, her reaction was the same as mine:

“Wait, you mean there’s no changing table in the men’s room? What’s he supposed to do?“

We silently agreed to guard the door together. When the security guard walked up, I thought we were both going down. But luckily, she did not head for the restroom, but instead went to the water fountain.

As promised, the father came out of the restroom in record time. It’s been well over a decade since I changed a diaper, but I’m pretty sure he must be very proficient at the task because he was only inside for a few minutes.

“Thank you so much,” he said to me and my new friend that had helped block the way. “Tell the nice lady ‘thank you,’” The man said smiling down at his little girl and then looking back up at me.

Never having been in a men’s room, I don’t know if there are changing tables in some men’s rooms. But this was a government building, and surely, if you were going to provide them anywhere it would be in a public space.

So, I’m curious if other fathers have had this experience. And if so, what did they do? It really bothered me that this man was in such a predicament, and he felt like he had to beg for my help. Of course, once I understood the situation, I was more than happy to help and was prepared to deal with any resistance that came along with that decision.

I think we need to begin a conversation about the fact that men do all the same things that mothers do when it comes to parenting, even change diapers. And they should have a place to do this simple, but important task. Who’s with me on this?

Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including some on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.