Amanda Lamb: Adulting

I’m not sure where the invisible line is between childhood and adulthood. But suddenly, it seems like my children have morphed into adults overnight.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean they still don’t need help. They do. But when I am with them, I’ve noticed their growing self-assurance and their ability to make more decisions without me. Often, when I visit them, they take the lead when it comes to making plans, including dinner reservations. Knowing I am a planner, both of them give me advance notice of things we can do when I visit, and they also give me options.

Recently, I went to visit my youngest daughter who is in college in Philadelphia. We had a wonderful visit that combined some activities that were planned and others that were unplanned. Having been a type-A person in my whole life in a job where I had little control over my schedule, it’s hard for me to let go of the wheel in my personal life. But it’s also amazing when your adult children take the wheel.

One day, for example, I took a run while she took a quiz. We then met for breakfast and decided to walk into Center City to do some shopping. We stopped for a snack on the way home, and then took a little late afternoon nap. We capped the day off with dinner at a restaurant that she had chosen. It couldn’t have been a more enjoyable and relaxing day if I had been with one of my best friends. And the truth is, I was…

My daughters are quickly becoming people that I really enjoy being with. There are moments with them when I even forget that I am the parent because they are people I would want to be friends with even if they were not my daughters.

Let’s face it, while our kids are growing up we love them fiercely, but that love is also tinged with a lot of stress and responsibility. But as they get older, and learn how to take the wheel of life in their own hands, we are on level ground with them more often.

So, little by little, I’m getting used to them adulting. It is at once thrilling, and a little scary. But slowly, I am letting go of the reigns. We’ve all heard the expression: “You can’t choose your family.” Well, if I could, I would choose this one over and over again.

Amanda is a mom of two and an author of several books including some on motherhood. She is also a WRAL reporter and successful podcaster. She began writing Go Ask Mom columns in January 2010 and took a short break in late 2021. Now, you can find her posts monthly on Go Ask Mom.