'SNL': Paul Rudd, Jimmy Fallon and James Corden Rule the NATO Cafeteria

If there are two things that “Saturday Night Live” loves, it’s geopolitics and celebrity cameos and it got to indulge both of these infatuations in this weekend’s opening sketch, set within the socially ruthless confines of the NATO cafeteria.

The segment, which kicked off an episode hosted by Jennifer Lopez and featuring musical guest DaBaby, was based on a real-life incident in which several world leaders were caught on video at a NATO meeting near London, seeming to mock President Donald Trump for his lengthy news conferences.

The “SNL” interpretation cast Jimmy Fallon (playing Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada), Paul Rudd (President Emmanuel Macron of France) and James Corden (Prime Minister Boris Johnson of Britain) as the cool kids of the dining hall, all looking down their noses at Alec Baldwin (playing Trump), who shuffled in holding a plate piled high with burgers.

When Baldwin asked to sit down with the cliquish trio, they refused him and told him to go sit with Latvia, whose socially challenged representative (Alex Moffat) was playing haplessly with a ball-and-cup toy.

Back at the cool kids’ table, the three other leaders continued to insult Baldwin’s Trump behind his back. “Did you hear him talk about climate change the other day?” Rudd said. “He said we need stronger toilets.”

Fallon added, “He’s dumber than Boris.”

Corden agreed. “He is!” he said. “He’s dumber than me.”

Rudd and Fallon urged Corden to hold a party at Buckingham Palace and after overhearing their plans, Baldwin tried to find out further details.

Fallon insisted that Baldwin wouldn’t like it. “You’d have to walk up stairs,” he said.

Rudd added: “The food is high quality but small portions. It’s your nightmare.”

After another attempt to get that coveted seat, it was offered instead to a different world leader: Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany (Kate McKinnon). Debating whether she should accept the offer, McKinnon excitedly asked herself: “Is this happening? Am I about to sit at the cool kids’ table? Just relax, Angela. Should I bring my fluegelhorn?”

Sent back to his social exile with a sign taped to his back that read, “Impeach me!!!,” Baldwin took his seat next to Moffat.

“You know those guys aren’t your friends,” Moffat told him. “They’re mean.”

“Oh, they’re just kidding around,” Baldwin said.

“Are you crying?” Moffat asked him.

“No,” answered Baldwin. “I have a little hamburger I caught in my eye.”

It’s been a while since we last heard from Darius Trump, the “Empire”-inspired sendup of Trump played by Kenan Thompson. But he was back this week, along with his children Darius Jr. (Chris Redd) and L’Evanka (Ego Nwodim), in another installment of “SNL”’s satirical series “Them Trumps.” This latest episode had Thompson about to enter a rally in Hershey, Pennsylvania, where an adviser (Moffat) warned him that a possible impeachment could turn the public against him.

“The media don’t make or break me,” Thompson asserted. “My people will always support me.” (Redd added: “The media is all lies. It’s in my new book.” Then he held up a book titled “The Media Is All Lies.”)

Speaking to a stadium crowd, Thompson said: “They say I abused my office. And you know what? Maybe I did. Because I will do whatever it takes to win this election. I will pop somebody in the head, right on Fifth Avenue, with my own gun if I have to.

“And I know you will always have my back,” he continued, “even though I’m black.” At which point he was pelted with fruit and chased out of the arena.

Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors, Colin Jost and Michael Che, continued to riff on the latest impeachment developments.

Jost:

This week, Democrats announced that they would be moving towards impeachment before Christmas. So Trump was right, a lot of Americans will be saying merry Christmas again. After announcing articles of impeachment, Nancy Pelosi criticized a reporter who asked her if she hates President Trump, saying, “As a Catholic, I don’t hate anyone.” Which is crazy, because as a Catholic, I know, there’s always one person you hate: yourself. Also, the Catholic approach wouldn’t be to impeach Trump. It would be to quietly transfer him to a different presidency.

Che:

President Trump warned France that if it imposes a tax on U.S. tech companies, the U.S. will retaliate with attacks on French wine. And I’ve got to admit, it is pretty funny that all of Trump’s tariffs are just based on lazy stereotypes. Like, if it was Japan, I bet he’d try to tax ninja stars. Or if it was Italy, spaghetti. God forbid it was a black country, he’d probably tax those Popeyes chicken sandwiches. In a separate riff, Jost turned his focus to recent revelations that Rep. Devin Nunes, the top Republican on the House Intelligence Committee, had been in contact with Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani and with Lev Parnas, an associate of Giuliani’s who, as The Times reported, “helped Giuliani come up with negative information to further his strategy on Ukraine.”

“According to AT&T, Rep. Devin Nunes spoke with Giuliani associate Lev Parnas on the phone for more than eight minutes,” Jost began:

“Which, if true, would be the longest call ever completed on AT&T. And that means that Giuliani, Devin Nunes and Lev Parnas were in constant contact during the whole Ukraine scheme. I’m just impressed these geniuses were able to come up with a plan at all. Usually when people with their mental capacity team up, all they do is talk about different kinds of shrimp.

And with that, the screen behind Jost cut to an image of Tom Hanks and Mykelti Williamson from the movie “Forrest Gump.”

In a desk-side segment on Weekend Update, McKinnon played the speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, explaining the fiery response she had given in a news conference to a reporter who had asked her if she hated Trump.

“Well, you never know who is self-identifying as a journalist these days,” McKinnon told Jost. “That word doesn’t mean what it used to.”

When Jost asked her if she prayed for Trump, as she claimed in the news conference, McKinnon offered him a demonstration. In her most reverential tones, she said, “Lord, please help Donald Trump. If he has to be president, please make him a little better at any of it. And please take him. Not to heaven or anything, just somewhere else. Just for a little while. Mama needs a break.”