Inconceivable: Celebrating joy while respecting pain

First of all, I want to say that I'm not pregnant and I have nothing to announce right now. But, this week I wanted to explore how people make the decision to announce their pregnancies following infertility.

I saw this beautiful post by former "One Tree Hill" star Hilarie Burton last week. She and husband, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, announced via Instagram the birth of their second child, a daughter. On the surface it might look like another celeb baby announcement, but Burton's caption revealed a much different story.

"It took a long time for Jeffrey and I to have this baby. The first time I got pregnant, it took a year and a half. I surprised him on Christmas with baby Seahawk booties. We cried. We celebrated. We picked out names. And we lost that baby. More losses followed, and as so many couples know, it was heartbreaking. It still is heartbreaking," Burton wrote. "And every morning of the five years it took us, I'd open my computer at the kitchen table and see the news and I'd grow bitter over the endless parade of celebrities showing off their bumps and babies. I'd weep out of jealousy for how easy it was for them. Didn't they know something could go wrong? Didn't they know that there were other women out there struggling? It pained me to see the corporate sponsored baby showers and magazine covers capitalizing on this human miracle that wasn't happening for us."

Burton goes on to say that once they were pregnant, they were afraid to jinx it, not wanting a baby shower and checking her heartbeat every day until she was born.

"So now that folks know she's here, I don't want her birth to cause any other woman to weep at her kitchen table. If anything, my wish is that she would restore hope for others. Fertility is a fickle thing. And for the other couples out there who have had dark days, we want to introduce our miracle baby to you and send you our love and support in finding yours," she wrote.

This message was simply heartbreaking. She found a way to celebrate the birth of her daughter but honoring those who are trying to have their own rainbow babies. With the past two pregnancies, I have thought about the way we would announce. Even though we never made it far enough, I always wanted to find a way to honor those who are in a different stage of their story. I wanted to find a way to not be obnoxious about it. A way to show love and respect for the pain I know other women were in.

For those women who have had their rainbow babies or a child after a battle of infertility, how did you make your announcement?