A lot of people believe that one of the most important milestones in parents’ lives is the marriage of their children. While I would agree that it is an important step that helps define a couple’s life, as well as the life of the extended family, I don’t think it’s actually about your child getting married as much as it is about your child being happy.
As parents, our job is never truly done—not when they go to college, not when they graduate and start living independently, not even when they get married. We will always be parents, and they will always be our children. But our main goal is to nurture them into a happy life, one that is full of things they are passionate about, which often includes a life partner to share that happiness with.
I remember when I was growing up and my mother would tell me: “I don’t care what you decide to do with your life, I just want you to be happy.” I never really believed this until I became a parent.
I attended the wedding of my cousin’s daughter this past weekend. It was a long journey for this couple to get to the altar, one that involved many life challenges, not the least of which is being parents to a spirited one-year-old and having to reschedule the event due to Hurricane Florence.
It was a beautiful ceremony by the water, filled with sincere, raw emotion that acknowledged their deep love and the rocky roads in their lives they had to travel to get to this day. But what I noticed more than anything was the look on my cousin’s face. It was a mixture of pride, relief and joy.
“I never thought I would see this day,” she said holding back tears.
And I knew what she meant. It wasn’t about a mother living out some fantasy about her daughter getting married. It was about the belief that her beautiful, kind child who had struggled in her adult life had finally found a safe harbor, a place where she felt loved and supported.
It was about realizing that dream of every parent. The dream where we finally say, “We did it. She’s happy.”
